Just try shagging a woman in any position on a tiled floor - it is devastating punishment on your knees and toes. I tried it once and gave up after a few thrusts in several positions and have never tried it again. The only other time I have failed to perform was trying to fuck in a large bath full of warm, soapy water in a hotel. The water sloshed over the sides and I could not keep my cock hard. Fucking on the kitchen floor and in a warm bath tub are strictly in fantasy land.
Just take a maid and spend your time on fucking.